It’s hard being a super mega nerdo fanboy these days. This is a rough life I lead. Burdened with the responsibilities and expectations placed on me by my friends, my family, myself, and my adoring throng of loyal readers…all like, 8 of you. I struggle through each day scouring the interwebs, the airwaves, and magazine stands pulling tidbits and factoids, soaking up information and knowledge like a leathery old broad who against all better judgment STILL sits out at the beach in the sun reading grocery store rags yelling at kids who kick sand on her towel all the while leering at the lifeguard who has no choice but to watch all the idiots in the water who think that since they’ve got a boogie board they’re impervious to the powers of the ocean. What are they thinking? Do they know how big the ocean is? Do they understand the force they’re dancing the dance of fate with? A sharkbiker could totally annihilate one of these kids should it be in the area and have the taste for flesh. Not that the life guard could really do anything about it. Sharkbikers are WAY more adept in water. It’s like they’ve lived there for thousands of generations! I mean, if a shark was on land and tried to start it with me, I’d TOTALLY be able to punch it right in its sharkface and run away cuz what chance does it have on land? None. We dominate the land. But I digress…
What do I do with this information I’ve gleaned? I digest. I analyze. I blatantly make stuff up and speak with conviction and surefootedness (Holy crap that’s a word? If spell check doesn’t pick it up that means it’s a word right?) in hopes that nobody questions the ridiculous claims I make.
So with this in mind, I’ve been doing my due diligence and do a pretty above average job at keeping all the inter-pages in my recent history, perusing the music magazine aisle at the book store, and keeping my ear to the ground for any tremor yet unheard. And what ho?! What’s this I hear?! The dawn of the new season! You’re damn right! New music season!
Let’s be honest, there’s no season for this, but somehow bands seem to put music out all at the same time…I think it has something to do with the average half life of Matthewkatzium…it’s the 111th element. No need to look it up. It’s fact. Either way, plastered all over MySpace, PureVolume, ReverbNation and all the respective record label websites (victoryrecords.com, ferretstyle.com, roadrunnerrecords.com, etc etc) are album presales! Woo!
For any music idiot super fan boy/girl, this is the golden harvest. What’s this? The CD I could buy in the stores for $10? Except that now, for the added cost of $9.99 (plus shipping and handling of course) I could have the VERY same CD but with an exclusive t-shirt?! A t-shirt that no one else will have unless they too feverishly refreshed their myspace page too? I. Must. Have. This. Immediately.
We fan-people don’t deal in dollars and cents. We deal in “making-of DVDs” (in one of Killswitch Engage’s presale offer packages), “limited edition t-shirts” (Poison the Well’s presale goodie), “signed screen printed posters” (as featured in Darkest Hour’s presale), “limited edition packaging” (one of the better gimmicks…same cd…different box), “exclusive 7 inch record complete with never before heard b-side recording and alternate version of a song already on the record” (unnecessarily part of August Burns Red’s presale bundle), and the ever popular bonus tracks as featured in pretty much EVERY pre-sale come-on ever.
Do I resist? Never. Do I nerd out about every single piece of paraphernalia? Absolutely 100% yes every time. Will I ever stop? Signs point to no.
What do I do with this information I’ve gleaned? I digest. I analyze. I blatantly make stuff up and speak with conviction and surefootedness (Holy crap that’s a word? If spell check doesn’t pick it up that means it’s a word right?) in hopes that nobody questions the ridiculous claims I make.
So with this in mind, I’ve been doing my due diligence and do a pretty above average job at keeping all the inter-pages in my recent history, perusing the music magazine aisle at the book store, and keeping my ear to the ground for any tremor yet unheard. And what ho?! What’s this I hear?! The dawn of the new season! You’re damn right! New music season!
Let’s be honest, there’s no season for this, but somehow bands seem to put music out all at the same time…I think it has something to do with the average half life of Matthewkatzium…it’s the 111th element. No need to look it up. It’s fact. Either way, plastered all over MySpace, PureVolume, ReverbNation and all the respective record label websites (victoryrecords.com, ferretstyle.com, roadrunnerrecords.com, etc etc) are album presales! Woo!
For any music idiot super fan boy/girl, this is the golden harvest. What’s this? The CD I could buy in the stores for $10? Except that now, for the added cost of $9.99 (plus shipping and handling of course) I could have the VERY same CD but with an exclusive t-shirt?! A t-shirt that no one else will have unless they too feverishly refreshed their myspace page too? I. Must. Have. This. Immediately.
We fan-people don’t deal in dollars and cents. We deal in “making-of DVDs” (in one of Killswitch Engage’s presale offer packages), “limited edition t-shirts” (Poison the Well’s presale goodie), “signed screen printed posters” (as featured in Darkest Hour’s presale), “limited edition packaging” (one of the better gimmicks…same cd…different box), “exclusive 7 inch record complete with never before heard b-side recording and alternate version of a song already on the record” (unnecessarily part of August Burns Red’s presale bundle), and the ever popular bonus tracks as featured in pretty much EVERY pre-sale come-on ever.
Do I resist? Never. Do I nerd out about every single piece of paraphernalia? Absolutely 100% yes every time. Will I ever stop? Signs point to no.
This is one of the August Burns Red pre-order packages. I hate them for making me choose between the bundle with the t-shirt + poster and the one with the 7" vinyl. Decision: pending.
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